and while we kept on saying

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 19:40:00 GMT

so. i've been writing and writing and writing and getting so sick of it i can't tell; screen poisoning, screen beam struck, a moon whiter than. screen. it was for school so it made me change my i's for I's and get rid of them all, in the end. scary to see yourself changing into sheets (paper, not cotton; too bad) and a meagre success; while in 'real' (corporeality lurking hey hey) i have to steal and drink my (canadian) roommates' whisky ("canadian company," of all the brands they could have picked) alone! in front of my, err, screen screen; pale moon screen struck screen damnyou. is it sadder to drink manhandling sentences in a shoebox room or in a lame bar? which seem to be but the only options.
what i'm doing is mixing tapes. motivation though on an all time low, since my computer, set at random and all, seems to do so much better than me myself on all alert. might be a body issue again though. i declare i do miss the guts to put baccara on a tape that doesn't go to anyone near me.
i'm going back to beijing for winter break and it's gonna break me in two at least but i know i want to i want to. i'm gonna ride cabs. and take phone calls. count tiles, call your house and your cel, sidewalks and ice and dry sidewalks an empty bottle. microphone feedback no i'll walk home. you know i've kept shitloads of stupid pictures. i'm getting prepared for not living up to any.
buses and trains are a huge part of my social life these days. i ride up to four hours a good day a school day; and i get off at the same place every time and check for the time temperature point of departure what do they think. i keep my change close in my back pocket. i keep losing library books. i keep track and off. i'm doing letters i don't write but wish i had and feel shit that's what it boils down to.
the rain has stopped bugging me after all, now if that isn't promising. i so do wish i just could be back. plain.

ana_threat

and while we kept on saying